Brady Home Furniture

dad: all right, everybody, we'relooking for a chair, a couch, and an end table. so everybody start lookingfor a...poang, a-a soderhamn, and a, uh, lovbacken. this is the only placei know where you can buy a lounge chair, batteries,wrapping paper, and meatballs. yeah, deb, i sent jeffyover to the play area. they sent him back. kid's been red-flagged,like that monkey in "outbreak."

got his picture up in play areasall over the town. don't let him in the ball pit. hey, deb,how's about this chair? no, not for the house. to save our spotdown the 4th of july parade. you put an old ratty one out,the trash man'll take it. this means you're serious. no, we ain't playing"the floor is lava" in the mattress department.

how's about we play"the store is a jagger bush" and don't touch nothing? or yinz can go homeand play "your bedroom is jail." no, we're in a nice store. you don't act like that. you save that kind of behaviorfor school 'cause i ain't there. i came here for two things --furniture and meatballs. the end. we need a sectional couch?for what, deb?

so you can fit more peoplein the house? no, no, i'm trying to get peopleout of there, not fit them in. hey, deb, look at this kitchen. it's like we're inbeverly hills...or fox chapel. hey, deb, look at this -- the future. who cooks in here? tron. two ovens. two thanksgivings.

you've been dreamingabout two ovens ever since "the brady bunch." soft-closing drawersso you can't slam them. geez, they make a screen doorlike that? i tell you right now, deb,you got to come over here and feelhow comfy this couch is. i don't knowif the dog will like it. he ain't gonna be on it. now, you goofs realize you'retrying to turn on a fake tv,

right?how's that working out for you? hey, do not openthem bubbles up in here. they're for later on. what'd i just tell yinz? hey, deb, did we come pastthis green couch here? i feel like we went pastthe green couch. no, no, mandy,you ain't getting a futon. i don't want youand your boyfriend sitting on anythingthat turns into a bed.

we come past this living roomthree times already. it's like "flintstones"background. no, we don't need nothingfrom this room. we better not! so, what?we's in one big giant maze. half expecting to seejennifer connelly being chased by david bowieup on the ceiling. jeffy!that ain't a real toilet. put your pants back on!

oh, look,they got glowing arrows. it's like when you stand aroundtoo long in double dragon. this way.what are yinz doing up on that?! just following the arrows. ain't no arrows pointing upto the couches up on the wall. ah, deb,you got to feel this bear skin. it's like you're sleepingup seven springs. what do you want?a play kitchen? so you can fill that upwith dirty dishes, too.

why would i get youa pretend kitchen when you don't do nothingin the real one? i'll get you a jobworking in their kitchen here. jessica, how manystuffed animals do you need? geez, you're like the sarahmclachlan of stuffed animals. it's like gram's dog, 'ceptit ain't biting at your feet and peeing on the good linoleumi just put in. hey, hey, hey, hey. this is how i want yinzwalking through this section.

ain't flailing your arms aroundlike you're kermit the frog. [ glass breaks ] what was that --like 13 seconds? hey, deb, what's with youdecorating the house with spaghetti in jars?w-what's next? you gonna put a pizzain a picture frame? i don't get this. if pasta goes in that jar,it's coming out. what do you think about puttingone of these mirrors

behind the bar, make it look like there'sa whole nother room back there? till your idiot sister trieswalking into it like a bird. well, whose housedoes this remind you of? what do yinz want? a lantern? keep leaving them lights on,that's all you'll be using. like abe lincoln. he turned out all right. what did he do?!

let me think -- $5 bill,statue down warshington, spielberg movie. rocks? that's what the crick is for. geez, next you'll be wantingto buy grass clippings. and there they are. hey, deb, we're getting this. art! i tell you,we hang this behind the couch,

it's like we're doing the news. you got sally wiggin down thereand peggy finnegan over there. i'll be joe denardo. let's get to that five-day. clouds and showers. no, we ain't done yet. we got to go homeand build all this stuff. we're gonna have top menworking on it -- yinz guys.

Brady Home Furniture